Stay tuned...

Stay tuned ladies and gents...tonight's the night for the biggest show on earth...  Okay, maybe not a show but at least a (hopefully) really good blog.  It has been a little crazy around here and I feel as though I have not been able to give you guys my best.  Tonight, I am setting aside some quiet time to blog about my recent adventures in band land...and believe me it has been an adventure.

Need to join a challenge

Quick note to say Happy Friday!  Am on the road again...band journey road.  Got my eating in check, booked another fill and am going to lose the stupid four pounds that the scale said I am up from my lowest last week.  That or I will be posting a picture of the scale caught in a tree after I hurled it with all my might..lol.  Someone told me I looked great and that they could tell I was really losing weight.  Definitely gave me a boost to head back in the right direction.  I am putting me first now.  I need to join a challenge I think.  Anyone doing a new one or recently started one that I could join?

Hearing me roar

I have decided that the best way to handle the insurmountable number of issues, tasks, projects and demands that are being placed on me at this moment is to photocopy myself and hand it to all the people in my life that need something from me.  Honestly, if I were gone tomorrow how would all of these people cope?  Why I think it would be a catastrophe of epic magnitude.  There would definitely be a world wide state of mourning.  No...tinkerbell...I don't think there would be...they would just find someone else equally capable to handle their concerns....and they would drive them crazy too!  Sometimes I just want to scream.  Don't these people realize I have things of my own to deal with.  I have sacrificed focussing on one of my most important goals right now (utilizing my band to it's fullest to get to my goal weight) to help others with the most ninkinpoopey things that they should be capable of handling themselves.    Well no more I say!  I am leading with a new battle cry...." I will give you a hand but I will not let you take my sword!"  There...I feel better.  Seriously, if I went into detail about all the insane things demanding my attention these days, you would laugh...then hopefully, you would offer me your attic or garage so I can hideaway from these often highly skilled, well educated but completely flabbergasting people.  Enough said.  I am taking a cognitive vacation from these people and their demands and I am going to my happy place  where I am going to focus on getting myself back on track.  I refuse to let them suck the life out of me...lol.

Thanks for listening.  I am getting back on track again by weighing in tomorrow, calling to book a fill (I think my band has loosened again) and setting a little mini goal for the next two weeks of five pounds.  Ah yes...that's much better now.  Thank you once again for hearing me roar.

Oh my God! What was that?

Oh my God!  What just happened this weekend???  I went through the house (well, mainly the fridge and pantry) and ate like a swarm of locusts hitting a small, unsuspecting country town.  This has happened before, pre-band, when I would be mid-cycle and my appetite would resemble that of a teenage boy home from college.  It was crazy.  Crazy because my band was doing a whole lot of objecting (A LOT of PBing) but I wasn't listening.  Some bizarre forcefield took over my body and commanded me to fork food into my mouth even after I felt satisfied.  Yes, in my delerium, I still recognized I should be stopping...I just couldn't, wouldn't, didn't.  Holy Hannah...what was that about?  I made myself literally sick.  It was absolutely disgusting and I hope to never repeat that.  I am laying off everything tomorrow except the basics to survive.  I need to detox.  I have no idea why this happened other than to wonder if it was some kind of body rebellion, test or hormones gone wild.  Thank God it's over.  I feel better tonight.  I am hitting the gym hard tomorrow...I can promise that.  Does this happen to others too from time to time?  How do you deal with it?

One day soon...

One day soon, this will be me.  Slim, sexy and cooking up a great meal for my family.  And don't forget the collarbones...she does have lovely collarbones.  Hubby and I were out shopping tonight and I saw Giada's cookbook and thought it would be a great inspiration for my husband to learn to cook some more Italian foods.  I have only seen her briefly on television, but the recipes in the book looked very good.  I will let you know when we try a few of them.  I must admit, it is comforting to know that I don't have to avoid things like pasta altogether.  I know I can have a serving, enjoy every morsel and be quite happy.  In the past, I would avoid eating pasta because I knew I couldn't stop at one serving.  I realize now, with the band, I can stop.

A major NSV to report tonight.  I went to a favourite clothing store to buy another pair of pants like the pair I picked up over a month ago.  I asked the sales lady  for a size 18 thinking that I would soon fit into a smaller size.  Much to my surprise, when I went into the fitting room and took off the pants I was wearing from before, I discovered the tag said they were an 18!  I actually had to go back out and request a pair in size 16!  I nearly fainted dead away when I slipped into them and they fit!!!  Yes, they were very snug, but they fit!  I haven't worn a size 16 since my early years in university.  Wait...it got even better.  The sales lady was so excited for me, she congratulated me and gave me a high five!  Wow!  Now I am even more motivated to keep at it and get into that 16 pant with room to spare. 

I am now sending everyone here happy, positive, inspirational energy.  I hope everyone has a fantastic day tomorrow.  I am going to do something I haven't done in a long time tomorrow.  Stay tuned...

"that girl"

A strange thing happened to me tonight.  After a long day at work, I came home to a lovely dinner that my husband had made.  Not only did he make chicken breast with an orange bourbon reduction but he plated it with barbequed peaches and a spinach pecan salad.  The thing that was strange was that I didn't bat an eyelash at the small salad plate he so nicely arranged it on...in fact, I felt appreciative and loved his thoughtfulness.  Very, very strange change in food attitude.  It wasn't that long ago that a small plate of food  for dinner after a long day with no lunch would be unheard of...my gosh...I suddenly realized that I really am changing.  It's not just the physical changes and the numbers on the scale changing but it's really ME that's changing.  My relationship with food is changing in a way that only a year ago I would have never dreamed possible.  I am still in awe.  Could this really be true.  I think it is...I am becoming "that girl"...  I am so grateful to have found this path.  I feel like I am reclaiming my life. 

RIBS...MY UNDOING...

I LOVE RIBS...no, you don't understand...I love ribs so much I have been studying for my PhD in Ribology.  I even told my husband that I want to go on vacation to the big BBQ competition in Memphis so I can be a judge.  He thinks I'm nuts.  So why am I bringing up my healthy obscession with BBQ...well...a coworker told me about a  place that has all you can eat ribs once a month and somehow I blurted out that we should organize a work party there.  Everyone loved the idea and I now find myself going to an all you can eat rib night where I am going to suspiciously only eat a small portion at best.  Ugh...now that was brilliant Thumbelina...how on earth am I going to explain not being able to eat much.  I am fairly restricted right now and doubt I could eat much at all.  Maybe I could get all liquered up before I go (wine and beer help relax the band...right...) but won't they be suspicious of why I took public transit (I don't drink and drive) and showed up tipsy right after work.  They'll think I'm a lush.  Hmm...let's see.  I could pretend to eat a lot of ribs but when no one is looking shovel them into my purse.  Or...I could say  I forgot I have a cholesterol test the next morning and I have to be good.  I think I like the getting liquered up one...at least if I PB, it won't seem unlikely...lol.  I am just kidding about this plan, but I definitely should have thought this one out a bit before agreeing to an all you can eat affair.  I think I need a BBQ Intervention...

Need help from savvy bandster...

Help me...I'm drowing...I have been trying to figure out how to fix the problem with the word verification for commenting on my blog and I cannot find anywhere on blogger help or other sites where it tells you how to fix the fact that everyone has to tab several times before the word verification box comes up so one can leave a comment.  Aaarrrrggghhhh!  I wish I'd never messed with trying to pretty up my blog by trying a new template.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to eliminate the word verification or I'll get comment span apparently.  Yikes...is there anyone out there who knows someone who knows someone who can tell me how to fix this problem.  I really love hearing from my bandster buddies...I miss you guys. 

Please comment

Hello Bandster Buddies,

I changed my template in the hopes that my comment section will work.  Would you please try leaving a comment and let me know if the verification part works okay.

Very much appreciated!

Is my comment section working?

Bandster buddies, is my comment section working?  Or do my posts really stink lately?  It's okay, you can be honest with me.  It seems as though ever since I tried changing my blog appearance a while back (only to find it didn't work that well), I haven't been getting many comments.  Is there something wrong when you try to comment?  Or do I need to get more sleep, drink a little less coffee and come up with much better post material?

As a side note, I had a very interesting day today.  My band was particularly tight.  I had a business meeting with a colleague I don't see very often and I am certain he went away thinking I had some kind of eating disorder as I could only down three or four forkfuls of my salad...lol.  The last time we had lunch together, I think I ate a  burger and caesar salad.  Before I worried people thought I ate too much, now I'm concerned they'll think I'm not eating enough...now that's funny!....lol.  I am definitely not complaining though...I complained enough these last three months waiting for something to start happening with this band.  No, definitely not complaining, dropping to my knees and thanking God restriction finally showed up yes, complaining no.  Ah...this journey with this crazy band is a most eventful one indeed.

My stats should look better...

...soon I hope.  I have to figure them out and share with y'all.  I am very hopeful now that my fill this past Tuesday seems to have taken me (finally!) to a good level of restriction, I will be able to post some respectable numbers.  Oh my God...talk about getting out of the gate late.  I feel really excited now that I can use my band in the way it was meant to be used.  Truly, without this level of restriction, it is hard to eat less and feel fine.  I now feel like I can eat a cup of food and be very satisfied without feeling hungry in an hour or so.  I know I read about this from my fellow, more experienced bandsters, but I didn't realize it would be this good.  No wonder they call it the Sweet Spot...it's better than a three scoop ice cream cone!  I am not even thinking about eating throughout the day...very weird...it wasn't that long ago that a lot of my thoughts were about food.  The band definitely affects your brain.  Though they don't fully understand it yet, there is definitely a pathway of communication between the degree of restriction (amount of expansion of the pseudo stomach pouch) and the hypothalamus in the brain where our satiety is registered.  I have a feeling, this cellular communication is quite a bit more complex than we know.  Hmm...I should apply for a research grant in this area...what do you think?...lol..  Okay, I got off track there for a bit....it's late and I'm exhausted.  All in all...I am loving every minute of this now.  Patience does pay off.  Yipee!!

So you wanna kick my a$$...

...well bring it on baby...I am soooo ready.  That's exactly what I would say to Bob and Jillian if they were at my gym tonight.  I am laying the smack down.  I'm am going the distance now so lookout...I'm going to knock you into the next postal code...lol.  Oh yeah...I did three miles today in under an hour on the track and I feel awesome.  After my little hiatus from the gym, it was a major victory to get out on that track and walk/jog without crying like a school girl.  Bring it on Bobby-Lou!  Now I'm willing to bet you're wondering where all this bravado has surfaced from...well...my fill today has taken me to where every woman (and man) bandster wants to go...the Sweet Spot Drive-In.  At least so far it's looking like this was the magic fill I needed to get good restriction.  Yes, it's a little early to judge but I can say this is the first time I have not felt hungry all day!  Woo, woo!  Oh thank you God! 

I had a grande skinny caramel latte for lunch today and a cup of pasta with tomato sauce for dinner.  I chewed the pasta until it was really a tomato soup puree.  I didn't know pasta tasted so good.  Having usually inhaled it in past, it was interesting to see that I could enjoy just a small amount and feel more than satisfied.  I chose not to eat soup for dinner as I don't really like prepared soups so why waste my daily calories on something I don't enjoy.  I am learning to eat for the rest of my lifetime not for some diet that will fall by the wayside like so many others.  Today, as I worked out at the gym, I felt truly grateful.  I am so grateful to have this opportunity and to be able to learn and share from all my fellow bandsters.  This blog community has made all the difference to me.  I am going forward now to lose my excess weight, get to goal and hopefully inspire a few people along the way.  

Tomorrow more mushies and then we'll really start to see how this fill (which has brought me to 8cc in a 14cc band...proof that everyone is very different in how much restriction they feel with different amounts in their band) works.  Finally...I finally feel like I am moving forward now.  It sure took a while to get here (4 months) but I think my patience is about to pay off!

Does your cup runeth over?

Well...if it does you should definitely invest in a better fitting bra.  Bra sizing is an art.  Few understand it, even fewer abide by it and the rest of us just take about 20 of the darn rascals (ranging is sizes from plus or minus 2 cups) into the fitting room and pray at least one or two will fit. Okay, I lucked out and found three that did and they were all on sale!  A victory akin to winning a gold medal in swimming with one's legs duct taped together. 

I wonder what size I will be when I have reached goal?  What will I do with all the bras of various sizes that I have from along the way?  Perhaps I could string them together and offer them up to car lot as interesting garland.  Now that would attract attention from passers by.  Of those beloved bloggers who are near goal, how much on average would you say bra size changes?

Now I digress...tomorrow is my fifth fill appointment and I am praying that it puts me right at my sweet spot.  I am close, I think, but I can still eat a fair bit and I have really been struggling to keep the hunger at bay.  In fact, with all the stress in my life lately (which I am managing much better now), I have not been able to lose any weight at all.  My exercise has been inconsistent, partly because of me and partly because of too many committments.  I have been off and on with my eating too.  Some days I follow the band rules and others, I almost forget I even have one.  This situation definitely needs work.  A lot of the work has to come from me.  I know the band can't do it all for me, but dear God, could I just get a little more help from it... 

I will keep you posted...I am hopeful things will take a new direction soon.  Tomorrow would be good :-)