Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just a little action...

That's was just a little action and it propelled me into a tailspin I am only just getting out of...  My last post...2 weeks ago...shame, shame, shame...was about debating going to the gym.  Well...after writing that,  I got changed, hit the gym (even though it seemed nobody else was there...too nice a night and everyone was likely enjoying the outdoors) and haven't been back since.  Oh no...I didn't injure myself...I just picked up a nasty little virus that has had me feeling awful (coughing, sore throat, sneezing, congested, name it, I've had it).  I am finally feeling a bit better though I am still a bit congested.  The moral of the story is...after you use a piece of gym equipment, PLEASE wipe it down so the next person doesn't have to suffer through a cold on the nicest two weeks of the summer! 

There...I have done my public service for another, I am not pregnant...but...we are going to start trying.  I mean...really  Any suggestions anyone?  I imagine there is never going to be a perfect time (ie when work is going great, my weight loss is enough, or when I am not so busy) so why not now?  I have come to realize just how much I really want another baby and though I felt conflicted about working on losing weight vs. having a baby, I think that I am in a much better position now having lost 45 lbs than ever before.   So why not put in a wholehearted effort and see what happens.  I can continue to lose weight in the meantime and if I have to put the band on hold for ten months, so be it.  Life is the here and now and I want to live it...I don't want to put off having a baby just to say I lost X lbs in Y months.  The band is part of my life,  not my whole life.  This could be a whole lot of fun!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

So very scared...

I am very scared...what if they laugh at me?  What if they take one look at me and point me back to the door?  What if they call me names?  What if they throw things?  Eeeee....breathe in, breathe'll be okay...  Why do I feel like I'm walking down that dark tunnel to get to that horrible rollercoaster ride in the dark (Space Mountain, Disneyland...never again)...  Is it too late to assume another identity and take up goat herding in Kazakstan?  Ah yes...ladies and gentleman...the time has come for me to start my step and strength class at the gym after a very long hiatus....hear the howling of the wind...I haven't been to the gym in over 6 weeks.  I am also afraid that when I get to the door they'll all start clapping that I showed up.  Breath in, breathe out...  Maybe I should go tonight just to swim in the pool or something...just to get me feet wet.  I need to go desperately.  I don't feel good these days.  Too much junky food...salt, sugar, starches...I feel gross.  I really need to sweat it out.  That's it...I'm going.  I will feel better when I get back and then I won't be so freaked out about the class tomorrow.  Thanks for listening...I needed that...

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I'm Back!!! Yipee!!!

Ladies, ladies, ladies...and gents...I am back.  The Band Goddess has returned from Mt. Olympus and she is looking something fierce.  I will begin by saying that the last five weeks have been a whirlwind of activity that took me to two weddings, a baptism, and Disneyland.  I coordinated several parties, winged an important speech and rode the space mountain roller coaster against my better judgement.  I shuttled relatives around to all the important venues, parties and events...providing accurate and friendly translations services so as to ensure the enjoyment of all.  I was a superstar!  No...I was a phenomenon!!  I nearly lost it a few times and even seriously contemplated self-medicating, but alas...I made it!  Oh yeah...and I lost a few more pounds...sweet!  In fact, at the aforementioned family wedding, I wore a stunning fitted, off the one shoulder dress that garnered me more compliments than I could have even imagined.  I felt like a million bucks!  I dance for 6 hours straight and even jumped higher than everyone else on the dance floor when "Jump Around" started to play.  I had the most fun I've had in ages and it's in very large part due to the new found comfort I have with my slimmer, fitter body.  I felt like the girl within.  I was me...only now on the outside too!  More and more people are starting to comment on my weight loss and it's making me feel so amazing.  Deciding to take this journey was definitely the best thing I could have done for myself.  I feel as though the sky has opened up, the sun has come out and I am basking in the glory that is life.  A life lived as it should be...full of joy, laughter and love.  I am so grateful to have been given this opportunity.  I am so very happy.

Now I need to catch up on your blogs.  I have really missed you guys.  I can't wait to hear about all your wonderful adventures.