So very scared...

I am scared...so very scared...what if they laugh at me?  What if they take one look at me and point me back to the door?  What if they call me names?  What if they throw things?  Eeeee....breathe in, breathe out...it'll be okay...  Why do I feel like I'm walking down that dark tunnel to get to that horrible rollercoaster ride in the dark (Space Mountain, Disneyland...never again)...  Is it too late to assume another identity and take up goat herding in Kazakstan?  Ah yes...ladies and gentleman...the time has come for me to start my step and strength class at the gym after a very long hiatus....hear the howling of the wind...I haven't been to the gym in over 6 weeks.  I am also afraid that when I get to the door they'll all start clapping that I showed up.  Breath in, breathe out...  Maybe I should go tonight just to swim in the pool or something...just to get me feet wet.  I need to go desperately.  I don't feel good these days.  Too much junky food...salt, sugar, starches...I feel gross.  I really need to sweat it out.  That's it...I'm going.  I will feel better when I get back and then I won't be so freaked out about the class tomorrow.  Thanks for listening...I needed that...