Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I love to smile
I really do...I love to smile. I am smiling now. I am smiling because I got my first fill yesterday and it went very well. My lovely surgeon did have to swing three times before hitting it out of the park but I didn't mind...who doesn't love a little suspense. Honestly, it was very easy. It didn't hurt (except a tiny bit on the second swing when he grazed a nerve branch but I don't want to freak any baby bandsters out...it really wasn't a big deal). He is very conservative so I only had a small amount added but I am fine with that. It is much better to go slow and steady than to overfill and have chest pain, be unable swallow your own saliva and have to run back to get an unfill. This isn't a race. I already won first place for having poor eating habits and not taking better care of my body. I don't need another medal. What I need is the satisfaction that comes from knowing within that you are going to succeed. I know it, I feel it, I am it already. This is a lifestyle change and while the band is a tool, it is not the Holy Grail. When I got home yesterday, I wondered if I had enough restriction (I don't feel very restricted but I do feel like there's a stopping point). I worried that it would take too long to get to the appropriate amount of restriction and then I would be wasting precious time. Then I stopped myself and thought about what it was I was really trying to achieve in my life. Enough said...
Today was a really good day. I ate exactly half the amount I usually do at each meal. The band helped but a good part of it was me. For now, it's a good lesson to learn. Slowly adjusting my food intake down to a healthy level. It is going to take some time getting used to what a normal portion is for me so being not totally restricted is a good thing. I will likely need another fill in four weeks, but let's see how this goes. I am really excited to be on my way now. I have been working out regularly and am seeing some amazing changes in my body. I am starting to realize that I can do a lot of things I haven't been able to do like get up and down from floor easily. This makes me smile...you must imagine me falling down just to get up again...over and over again...lol.
NSV today...there was chocolate cake at work and I didn't even have a forkful. Instead, I picked off a few fruit from the fruit topped cake. I was very popular for taking the fruit but I did leave them the custard and cake part...lol.