This morning was my official weigh in time and before I got on the scale, I was just a little worried. Would it move this week, would it be the same or worse...would I have gained weight? I have been a bit concerned that I don't really have the use of the band yet (no restriction) and I am relying solely on willpower to get through this time until my second fill at the end of January. It has been quite challenging and I have felt at times very confused as to how this process evolves for each individual. For the most part though, I have accepted that I may not get the full benefit of the band at this early stage and I will likely have to wait until my second fill to utilize this tool.
In the meantime, I am learning a lot about myself. I thought I knew all there was to know about my overeating. Apparently not. For instance, I never realized how quickly and mindlessly I used to eat. By the time I was aware of how much I was eating, I had already consumed half of a large dinner plateful. Now, I focus on what I'm eating, how much is going on my plate and more importantly how much I can eat before starting to feel satisfied. I am learning to hear what my stomach is saying. How crazy is that? The crazier thing is, I like listening to my stomach and following it's suggestion to stop eating. Wow...even though the stop signal comes quite late (ie am eating more than ideal), it does come....double wow! Thinking about food is another aspect. I didn't realize how much I used to think about food. It's almost embarrassing to admit, I used to plan and get excited about trips to the grocery store to get food. Now I only think about it occasionally and then I remind myself food is about nutrition and not about filling whatever void I am feeling at that time.
Okay, I digressed a bit. The good news this morning was I had lost 1.2 lbs this week. Yipee! At least it was a small strand of hope that I can hang on until my band kicks in to help me out. This little bit of hope was all I needed today. I went to the gym and powered it out on the bike. I did 65 minutes of moderate to moderately high intensity and boy was the sweat pouring off me. I loved it! I imagined myself pedaling up hills and along ocean side roads and more importantly knowing that one day I would be in good enough shape to do this for real outside. It was all I could do not to stand up on the pedals and throw up my hands like the yellow jersey winner of the Tour de France...I probably would have gotten a few looks from the others at the gym...lol.