To be, or not to be...

It's been a month already since my last post...shame, shame, shame...fifty sit-ups for me!  Okay, it has been a bit busy to say the least but I could have blogged instead of watching TV one night a week.  No more excuses.  I need to stay in touch with my blogger buddies.  I have to say how much I appreciated the comments on my last blog.  You guys are goood!

So why am I soooo excited...I think I'm pregnant!  Now I can't be sure yet but I seem to be experiencing some of the same things I did with my first pregnancy.  I am three days away from when my cycle should start again and I have been having very sensitive breasts with sharp, shooting sensations.  I have felt so tired in the evening...like run over by a Mach truck tired...for the last three nights.  Even more interesting is the feeling of euphoria...it's like I'm on something really good...  I took a home pregnancy test yesterday but it read negative.  It's possible I'm not pregnant, but it may also be my Hcg levels aren't high enough yet to detect with a home test.  So I am going to have a blood test on Wednesday.  Please say a prayer for me.

I do want to say that deciding to have the band has made a huge difference in my opportunity to add to our family.  Losing 50 lbs has improved  my chances of  having a second child at nearly forty years old by least ten fold.   Working with the band and making positive lifestyle changes, has made a dramatic difference in my life.  I know that this next pregnancy (hopefully I'm already there) will be so incredibly amazing because I took the time and care to look after myself.  If anyone else out there is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, I would love to hear your thoughts.  I would love to hear your comments even if your not...lol.

Climbing Everest

It has been a busy start to the year and I have been remiss at updating my blog.  I wonder if it was because I didn't want to admit that my progress has faltered, stagnated, gotten stuck in the mud...or because I thought if I admitted I wasn't making any progress in the last several months, I would be admitting some kind of defeat.  I don't feel defeated, but I do feel like those who set out to climb Mount Everest and get stuck at the first base camp, caught up by bad weather or illness.  I know I still have a long way to go and I know that I absolutely will reach the summit...I have just been having some trouble getting out of this "funk'.  Yes, there have been a great number of things that have complicated this matter, but I want to find my 'mojo" again and start heading toward my ultimate goal.  I want to be a healthy weight, feel fabulous and be proud of my accomplishment.  So I need some ideas from my bandster buddies on how to really get going again.   Any and all insights will be considered carefully and I will keep you informed of my "comeback" progress.

A Very Merry Christmas it will be...

Indeed...a Christmas no other...filled with love, laughter,
happiness and family.  I wish everyone a Christmas filled with the kind of love that envelops you in its warmth and spreads to all those you encounter.

May our common bond of this band, bring us all together to embrace the wonder of the amazing gift we have given ourselves.   By loving ourselves enough to seek out this help and take better care of ourselves we have given our family and friends the best gift of all...us...happy, healthy and living life to its fullest.  I am so grateful to you all for your support, encouragement and kindness.  Because of you and this band, I have found myself again and am living the life I was always meant to.   Thank you.  Merry Christmas and all the very best wishes for continued successes.

Looking for an outhouse

Yes, today I was looking for an outhouse or any version of a private bathroom where I could...ahem...sorry to say...regurgitate my minuscule lunch.  Yuck!  I haven't been one to have a lot of PB incidents but when it does happen, it's bizarre.  Firstly, I can not and will not make audible regurgitating noises in public...call me crazy but there are just some bodily sounds that should be kept to one's self.  Today's lunch presented an interesting challenge when I had barely had any of my cold drink followed by hot soup and found myself being in desperate need of a safe haven, a private refuge, a temple of salvation where I could part with my much needed nutrition in relative solitude. 

Never have I wanted to use a private bathroom more.  Thank goodness there was one nearby but I had to restrain myself from pounding on the door demanding the lady who was in there get out as her five allotted minutes must surely be up and what in the world was she doing in there all that time.  She smiled as I nearly toppled her over on my way in.  What is wrong with women...can we not attend to our business in a timely manner knowing there is likely a line/cue forming outside.  Fortunately though, I made it in just in time.   This band is wild.  I hope it loosens soon or I'm going to have to plot out the locations of private bathrooms in a ten mile radius...lol.

Food ideas for tight band days

Since there are only FIVE more sleeps until Santa comes, I am in quick need of some ideas for foods I can have around during the holidays that will agree with my very tight band.  I could use some fresh ideas as soup and Greek yogurt aren't putting the spring in my step anymore.  Any clever ideas out there?  I really don't want to resort to coffee and cookies for breakfast and lunch.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you :-)

Skinny girl on the run

Well hello there sports fans!  It's me...skinny girl on the run!  I have been AWOL for five weeks but I have a very good reason...ever since I kicked myself in the bee-hind and got back on track losing weight, I have managed to keep myself very busy.  Between being insanely busy at work, going to the gym to workout,  attending and hosting parties, having my little man's second birthday party and getting ready for the twenty two people descending on us for Christmas, it's amazing I still know my name.  But not for long... I went out to the garage  tonight looking for the Christmas gifts I'd hidden (I only have my husband's left to wrap) only to find them gone.  As I was scrounging around looking distressed, my husband came out to inform me I moved them upstairs into our closet last week.  I started laughing so hard...if that's not the epitome of being overworked before the holidays, I don't know what is.  He did promise he hadn't peeked into the bags. 

Now for a band update.  Little miss bandilocks is pretty tight these days.  I am waiting it out though and have a feeling once  a bit more weight has come off, she'll be just fine.  It's challenging at times though, especially at holiday parties.  Not the eating, but the hiding the fact that I am not eating much.  It's kind of funny when you think about it.  Instead of trying to hide how much you have piled on your plate, you are now hiding how much you haven't eaten by moving food around the plate.  Life has it's little chuckles. 

I hit a major milestone recently.  I have now lost 50 pounds!  Yipee!  And more importantly, it really looks like I've lost some serious weight.  People have been commenting left and right.  It's awesome!  I tried on a very sexy fitted dress and nearly screamed in the fitting room for someone to come and escort that stranger by the mirror out of my room.  Honestly, I could not believe my eyes.  To look in the mirror and actually see the girl I recognized from my university years.  It was definitely a victory moment!  I have a few more miles to go before I sleep but this skinny girl is definitely on the run! 

I have been thinking about training to do a 10K walk.  I have trained and done a 10K run, but a speed walk would be an interesting challenge.   What do you ladies and gents think?  That or maybe a hike somewhere.  One that is fairly challenging.  Maybe in the late Spring.  Hmmm...a challenging hike appeals to me. 

Alright...enough rambling for tonight.  I hope to write again before Christmas, but if not...Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Resurrection

First I must fill you in...I didn't write on Friday because a little critter called picorna virus or rota virus or one of their friends decided to avail themselves of my cells to go on a photocopying extravaganza.  Yup...I've been sick all weekend and am only now crawling out of my bed.  I took a long hot shower, threw the bedding into the washer and am sipping ginger ale as I write this.

I have missed you my friends.  My life took on some crazy twists and turns this last while.  I had written some time ago about my friend who was diagnosed with cancer and I am happy to report the transplant went well and things are looking like they may just turn out alright.  I have prayed every day and it seems as though it was not wasted.

On a personal front, I have been experiencing a lot of emotional upheaval surrounding having another baby.  We have been trying for some time and no luck yet.  It seems there may be some need to pursue our options at a fertility clinic.  I feel funny sharing this with you but sometimes life steps into the midst of our weight loss plans and goals and takes off in another direction. 

I have not lost much weight during this last three months and I believe it's in part because of the stress I have been experiencing around these life issues.  I needed a fill but didn't make the time to go, I needed your support and I didn't write to ask for it and most of all I needed to make myself a priority and do the exercise, follow the band rules and lose weight.  I forgive myself though and chose to move on.  I may not win the award for most weight lost in one year but I will win the award for most progress made in how I think about myself and how I think about food.  I am happy.  I am happy to be back in this community and to feel your support both written and unwritten.  Thank you for being there.